When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less, I needn't hold my tummy in To wear a belted dress. But now that I am older, I've set my body free; There's comfort of elastic Where once my waist would be. Inventor of those high-heeled shoes My feet have not forgiven; I have to wear a nine now, But used to wear a seven. And how about those pantyhose -- They're sized by weight, you see, So how come when I put them on, The crotch is at my knees? I need to wear these glasses As the prints were getting smaller; And it wasn't very long ago I know that I was taller. Though my hair has turned to silver and my skin no longer fits, On the inside, I'm the same old me, Just the outside's changed a bit