Understanding Your Differences Men are not all that complex in their needs, but those needs are very intense. A man has a need for: *Faithfulness: knowledge that the woman he loves will never sell him out. *Support and submission: assurance that his wife will follow his lead without questioning every decision he makes, especially in crises. *Encouragement: sympathy, faith support, and understanding - in good times, but even more in bad times. *Importance: status and value in giving advice in making plans. *Respect: feeling that he is held in high esteem, privately and publicly. *A completer: someone to give him input for his decisions, quiet admonishment about his flesh patterns, and spiritual and moral support. *A partner: someone with whom to share all his life, for life. Women are more complex. Their needs and desires are numerous, but fluctuate. A woman has a need for: *Better listening from her husband: interactive, empathetic communication. *Having her "petty" problems taken seriously: for discussion of (and sometimes help in solving) difficulties. *More regular and more open communication: obvious attentiveness and interest, both on facts and feelings levels. *Attention besides when he wants sex: feeling that she's a love partner, not just a love object or tool. *Appreciation: thanks and gratitude for all she does. *A real (or apparent) interest in her life: curiosity about her day, beliefs, dreams. *Demonstrated affection and courtesy in front of others: enjoyment of and pride in being seen with her. *Being a part of her husband's life: by sharing goals and values with her, talking over business, etc. *Little remembrances: notes, gifts, or special plans that say, "I love you." *Quality time away from the kids: whether a weekend away or a drive around the block. *Inclusion in things he does: companionship in events or wanting her involvement when he's away. *Her husband's involvement in things she enjoys: willingness to indulge, if not share, her favorite pleasures. *Understanding: trying to comprehend using intuition and logic. *Closeness: holding her in his arms, for protecting her. *Tenderness: use of kind words and sensitive tones. *Help with the children: in discipline, in training, in presenting a united front. *Verbal expressions of caring: compliments, praise, affirmation. *Acceptance of who she is as she is: permission to be imperfect, affirmation of her appearance, character, achievements. *More family time: everyday attention, regular outings, and vacations. *Desirability: feeling like a special and feminine woman.