Here are some practical steps you can take toward a stronger marriage: * When things go wrong, don't give up. Remember that God desires to bless your marriage and will meet you where you are to help. * Write your marriage story - significant details about how you've seen your marriage unfold over time. Then compare your version with your spouse's version, and work together to rate the level of joy and contentment you've experienced throughout your marriage so far. Finally, write the next chapter of your story, as you would like to see it happen. * Consider what pressures might be at work to destroy your marriage - unrealistic expectations, selfishness, childhood scripts (expecting something to occur because it did when you were a child), the speed of everyday life, satanic assault. Stop blaming your spouse for stress in your marriage, and ask him or her to stop blaming you. Instead, bond together to treat life's stress as a common enemy. Make time to do the things you consider important in life. * Look for cycles in your relationship that work to distance you from each other. Try to recall how previous problems in your marriage led to current ones. Then try to determine when you started to lose the intimacy you once shared. * Know that God has brought you and your spouse together for a spiritual purpose, and that He wants you to act as team, growing and serving together. Call a truce, respect your partner, commit not to use words that hurt, be patient, don't attack your partner's insecurities or weaknesses, don't shut down emotionally and don't involve others in your marriage problems. Pray for God to give you grace to avoid sins of jealousy, selfishness, lying, temptation, lust, guilt and shame. Create a tangible marriage memorial, to memorialize what you want your marriage to become - perhaps using a symbol, such as a photo of a rainbow. * Make your marriage a "safe zone," in which you and your spouse can be free to express your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Accept each other; stop criticizing each other. When your spouse says something, repeat back what you understood him or her to say, and ask for any clarification he or she might want to offer. Don't think of your spouse as your enemy. Define problems when they arise, and collect as much information about them as you can. Consider alternative solutions. Delay decisions if you don't both agree, looking for win-win solutions. Review the results of your decisions to ensure that you're obtaining the desired outcomes. * Seek God's forgiveness for the bad stewardship on your part that contributed to your marriage's deterioration, and ask your spouse to do the same for his or her bad stewardship. Remember that God requires you to forgive others and yourself whenever you're seeking His forgiveness. Know that forgiveness is a journey; after you decide to forgive, the pain you feel will likely fade gradually away. Commit not to continually bring up past wrong behavior after you have already expressed forgiveness. * Pursue a friendship with your spouse. Make sure that God is first in your life and your marriage is second. Reveal your priorities and agendas. Listen sincerely to your spouse and consider his or her suggestions, give advice sparingly and with respect, be there when your spouse needs you and have fun together. * Work to build empathy in your relationship. Commit yourself to selflessly loving your spouse, learn as much about your spouse as you can, try to determine how your mate might have felt during a past situation in your marriage and check that out with your spouse, then consider whether you might have felt or acted any differently. * Begin to strive for greater intimacy in your marriage by undressing emotionally so you can be truly open with your spouse. Learn to trust your spouse again. * Use your combined strengths to create a marriage that glorifies God. Make decisions together by seriously considering each other's perspectives, working toward acceptable compromises when you disagree, and showing respect to one another. Bond with your spouse through sexual intimacy. Respect your differences as individuals, and allow God to use those differences to create the larger spiritual entity that is your marriage. * Always keep in mind that God is with you both and has a purpose for your marriage. Ask God to help you work through your problems, and expect Him to act. Commune with God together through prayer on a regular basis. Work continually to strengthen your marriage.