To all the mothers, mothers to be (someday) and everyone who has a mother...

When the good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of overtime, when an angel appeared and said,
"You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the spec on this one?

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic;
have 180 moveable parts,all replaceable;
run on black coffee and leftovers;
have a lap that disappears when she stands up;
a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair;
and six pair of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands...no way."

It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord.
"It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.

The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, "What are you kids doing in there?" when she already knows.

Another here, in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't, but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, "I understand and I love you," without so much as uttering a word."

"Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve gently, "Rest for now. Tomorrow..."

"I can't," said the Lord. "I'm so close to creating something close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick, can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of the mother very slowly. "She's too soft," she sighed.

"But tough!" said the Lord excitedly.
"You cannot imagine what the mother can do or endure."

"Can she think?"

"Not only think, but she can reason and compromise," said the Creator.

Finally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.

"There's a leak," she pronounced. "I thought you were trying to put too much into this model."

"It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear."

"What's it for?"

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride."

"You're a genius," said the angel.

The Lord looked somber, "I didn't put it there."

(Erma Bombeck)

Windshield Wiper Sermon

One rainy afternoon I was driving along one of the main streets of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the roads are wet and slick. Suddenly, my son Matthew spoke up from his relaxed position in the front seat.

"Mom, I'm thinking of something."This announcement usually meant he had been pondering some fact for a while and was now ready to expound all that his seven-year-old mind had discovered. I was eager to hear.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"The rain," he began, "is like sin. And the windshield wipers are like God, wiping our sins away."

After the chill bumps raced up my arms, I was able to respond, "That's really good, Matthew."

Then my curiosity broke in. How far would this little boy take this revelation?

So I asked, "Do you notice how the rain keeps on coming? What does that tell you?"

Matthew didn't hesitate one moment with his answer.

"We keep on sinning and God just keeps on forgiving us."

I said, "Amen"

IS HEAVEN IN THE YELLOW PAGES?

Mommy went to Heaven, but I need her here today,
My tummy hurts and I fell down, I need her right away.
Operator can you tell me how to find her in this book?
Is heaven in the yellow part, I don't know where to look.

I think my daddy needs her too, at night I hear him cry.
I hear him call her name sometimes, but I really don't know why.
Maybe if I call her, she will hurry home to me.
Is Heaven very far away, is it across the sea?

She's been gone a long, long time she needs to come home now!
I really need to reach her, but I simply don't know how.
Help me find the number please, is it listed under "Heaven"?
I can't read these big big words, I am only seven.

I'm sorry operator, I didn't mean to make you cry,
Is your tummy hurting too, or is there something in your eye?
If I call my church maybe they will know.
Mommy said when we need help that's where we should go.

I found the number to my church tacked up on the wall.
Thank you operator, I'll give them a call.

Together We Stand

When young we tend to go it alone
Only to learn how little we've grown
Spreading our wings and flying away
Feeling sad not knowing what to say

When we return to knock on that door
Only then do we realize what we had before
Mending the schisms that occurred takes time we know
It will happen, we can make it a go

Mom, you are my best friend and were always there
You have always supported me, I knew you did care
Throughout the days that we were apart
You need to understand you remained in my heart

You are such a wonderful mother, someone precious I know
My love for you will continue to grow
The most valued lesson I learned to keep
Was how your love remained so strong and deep

You are my best friend and my mother too
These are just some of the reasons why I Love You

Your Son

Why are you crying?" he asked his mom.

"Because I'm a mother" she told him

"I don't understand," he said

His mom just hugged him and said, "You never will"

Later the little boy asked his father why Mother seemed to cry for no reason.

"all mothers cry for no reason" was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why mothers cry. So he finally put in a call to God and when God got on the phone the man said,
"God, why do mothers cry so easily."

God said,"You see son, when I made mothers they had to be special.

I made their shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave them an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times come from their children.

"I ve given them a hardiness that allows them to keep going when everyone else gives up, and to take care of their families through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave them the sensitivity to love their children under all circumstances, even when their child has hurt them very badly. This same sensitivity helps them to make a child's boo-boo feel better and helps them share a teenager's anxieties and fears.

I gave them a tear to shed. It's theirs exclusively to use when ever it is needed. It's their only weakness. It's a tear for mankind".

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