A man fell into a pit and couldn't get himself out. -- A subjective person came along and said, "I feel for you down there." -- An objective person walked by and said, "It's logical that someone would fall down there." -- A Pharisee said, "Only bad people fall into pits." -- A mathematician calculated how deep the pit was. -- A news reporter wanted the exclusive story on the pit. -- An IRS agent asked if he was paying taxes on the pit. -- A self-pitying person said, "You haven't seen anything until you've seen my pit." -- A fire-and-brimstone preacher said, "You deserve your pit." -- A Christian Scientist observed, "The pit is just in your mind." -- A psychologist noted, "Your mother and father are to blame for your being in that pit." -- A self-esteem therapist said, "Believe in yourself and you can get out of that pit." -- An optimist said, "Things could be worse." -- A pessimist claimed, "Things will get worse." Jesus, seeing the man, took him by the hand and lifted him out of the pit. - Author Unknown