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Many thanks to Peggy Rendleman and Ann Lee for today's jokes .....

~~More Men & Women~~

Q. How do you scare a man?
A. Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

Q. How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
A. At the circus the clowns don't talk.

Q. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Q. Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men?
A. No phone numbers.

Q. Why do men like smart women?
A. Opposites attract.

HaHa OUCH....

~~Dog and Cat Characteristics~~

11. Dogs come when you call them.
Cats take a message and get back to you when they are good and ready.

10. Dogs look much better at the end of a leash.

9. Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.

8. Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire.
Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.

7. Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper.
Cats might bring you a dead mouse.

6. Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon.
Cats will take a three-hour nap.

5. Dogs will sit on the car seat next to you.
Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.

4. Dogs will greet you and lick your face when you come home from work.
Cats will be mad that you went to work at all.

3. Dogs will sit, lie down, and heel on command.
Cats will smirk and walk away.

2. Dogs will tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk.
Cats will yawn and close their eyes.

1. Dogs will give you unconditional love forever.
Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.