If AOL were a city...
March 26, 2000
|
* You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name. * You'd only pay $21.95 a month to live there, but half the time you tried to leave your house, the door would be stuck. * The commute to work is just a double-click away, but every time you try to leave your driveway, the flow of traffic knocks you back into your yard. * The local post office would tell your mother you're not a known resident. * The local post office won't forward your mail to you when you move. * If you saw a crime and called 911, they'd reply a week later with a form letter saying how you "really are important to us." * Every time you went shopping, you'd be kicked out of the store by a bouncer screaming, "WE'RE SORRY, THIS STORE IS TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE." * Whenever you traveled to other cities, people would see your license tag and laugh at you, behind your back. * You'd occasionally be sent home during your day by another bouncer telling you that the city has performed an illegal operation. * You'd not have any idea who your neighbors are, and most new arrivals would move in at night, stuff everyone's mailbox with garbage, and vacate before sunup. * The administration would build a huge, state-of-the-art park, and allow the kids to play there free, then suddenly start demanding money.
|
