The Bears
September 30, 2000
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CAMPING IT UP Dewayne, his wife, and Dewayne's mother-in-law went camping over the 4th of July weekend. Dewayne's wife announced that her mother had been gone from her stroll in the woods way too long. So the two of them went looking for her. After a while they spotted a gigantic, ferocious grizzly bear squared off with the mother-in-law! Immediately her daughter said to her husband, in a frantic voice, "Dewayne you got'ta do something, or there’s gonna be blood shed fer sure!" Dewayne calmly said, "Now look, honey, the bear got himself into it..."
Fractured Fairy Tale Thanks to Amy!... It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest, and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks. Poppa Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it also is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars. Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, "For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this?" "It was 'Momma Bear' who got up first." "It was 'Momma Bear' who woke everybody else in the house up." "It was 'Momma Bear' who made the coffee." "It was 'Momma Bear' who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away." "It was 'Momma Bear' who went out into the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper." "It was 'Momma Bear' who set the table." "It was 'Momma Bear' who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box and filled the cat's water & food dish." "And, now that you've decided to come downstairs and grace 'Momma Bear' with your presence, ...listen good, 'cause I'm only going to say this one time...." "I haven't made the doggone porridge yet!"
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