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Another Blonde Bash
February 9, 2000

Blonde Frequent Flyer Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry . . . we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry... we still have one engine left." A blonde turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!" Blonde One Liner's What do you call an eternity? Four blondes in four cars at a four way stop. Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First. Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said, "Disneyland-Left" so they turned around and went home. What do SMART blondes and UFO's have in common? You always hear about them but never see them. What did the blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios? Oh look, ...Doughnut seeds. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? Because it said concentrate. Blonde Reasoning At a pharmacy, a blonde woman asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first. "It won't work," countered the woman. "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt." Precariously Positioned Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette. As a group they decided that one of the party should let go. If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone would perish. For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered. Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others. The blondes applauded.