Blonde Fun
February 18, 2001
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Blonde 911 A blonde calls 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cries. The dispatcher says, "Stay calm." "An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." he says. "She got in the backseat by mistake."
Blonde Abduction There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 AM. Signed, The Blonde" She pinned the note inside the little boy’s jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag, behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note... "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!"
Blonde Reasoning A blonde gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and Cork. "About two hours," says the conductor. "OK," said the man... "then how long is the trip between Cork and Limerick?" The irate driver says to the man "It's still about two hours. Why would you think there'd be a difference?" "Well," said the man, "It's only a week between Christmas and New Year, but it's a long time between New Year and Christmas!"
The ultimate "Dumb Blonde" Joke A blonde hurries into the hospital emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied. "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting off the tip of your finger?" "No, silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought, "I just paid $6000 for these hooters, I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'" "So, then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3000 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'" "So, then?" "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought 'This is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
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