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A Blonde Saturday
March 25, 2000

The Blonde Coffeemaker The newlywed blonde went to the store to ask how to operate the new coffeemaker received as a wedding gift. The salesman carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, go to bed, and upon rising, the coffee is ready. A few weeks later the blonde was back in the store and the salesman asked her how she liked the coffee maker. "Wonderful!" she replied, "But... it's just awfully inconvenient to have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee." Blonde Reasoning A blond at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they asked for a credit card number, so she's using the ATM "thingy". How Blonde Was She? SHE WAS SOOOOOOO BLONDE: She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She thought a quarterback was a refund. She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. She thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools. She thought General Motors was in the army. She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. She thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. Under "education" on a job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics." She tried to drown a fish. She tripped over a cordless phone. She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate." She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK". On an application where it says "sign here," she put Sagittarius. She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. It takes her two hours to watch "60 Minutes". She heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, so she moved. SHE THINKS TACO BELL IS THE MEXICAN PHONE COMPANY!!! True Story Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a brunette women suspected of being blond by placing a metal colander on her head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "SHE's LYING" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.