Caution.....
March 14, 2000
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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here
are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
* On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. * On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. * Some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. * On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head. * On Tesco's Tiramisu desert: Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) * On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. * On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body. * On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. * On Nytol (a sleep aid): Warning: May cause drowsiness. * On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children. * On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. * On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. * On Sainsbury's Peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. * On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. * On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
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