A COWBOY'S GUIDE TO LIFE...
April 26, 2000
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Don't squat with your spurs on. Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'. If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning. Never ask a barber if you need a haircut. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think. Always drink upstream from the herd. Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'. Tellin' a man to git lost and makin' him do it are two entirely different propositions. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment. When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson. When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back. Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's sure real important to know what it was.
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