DAN RATHER'S GREATEST HITS
November 11, 2000
Submited by ray....
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Things Dan Rather actually said LIVE ON THE AIR during election coverage: On George W. Bush: "He swept through the South like a tornado through a trailer park." "Don't bet the trailer money yet..." "It's too early to say he has the whip hand..." In a previous election: "They counted the votes until the cows had literally gone to sleep." "It's a ding-dong battle back and forth." Trying to say, "Chances are slim or none:" " If he doesn't carry Florida, Slim will have left town." "If a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a hand gun." "They both have champagne on ice, but after the night is over, they might need a pick axe to open them." "This race is tight, like a too-small bathing suit on a too-long ride home from the beach." Referring to electoral votes: "The big burrito out there in California..." "Only votes talk - everything else walks." "This will show you how tight it is: it's spandex tight." "We're going to go to some of those longnecks from a long time ago...." "He's going to find that people will hang on him like a coat rack..." "This election swings like one of those pendulum things." "What we know is that there will be no decision until some of these races are decided." "Al Gore has his back to the wall, shirttails on fire with this race in Florida." Refers to Bob Schaefer as "Deputy Dog." "You talk about a ding-dong, knock-down, get-up race..." "When it comes to a race like this, I'm a long-distance runner and an all-day hunter!" "It's the American way: if you don't vote, you don't get to whine." "Smelling salts for all Democrats, please." "...in Austin, between the 10-gallon hats and the Willie Nelson head bands..." "...none of this television mumbo jumbo: let's get in there and count the votes!" To a reporter: "Maybe you can bring some perspective on this, we're plum out of it." "When the going gets weird, anchor men punt." "Tipper is probably telling her husband to hook a u., and go back to the house to get a recount." "It doesn't matter if you're a Democrat, Republican or a mug wamp: elected officials play it straight." "Florida is the whole deal, the real deal, a big dea!l" "Frankly, we don't know whether to wind the watch or to bark at the moon." "The contest was tighter than rusted lugnuts on a '55 Ford."
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