Friday Funnies 2
March 2, 2001
|
What a Treat! I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on business class. During the return flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in a vomit bag. After the plane landed I got up to leave and a stewardess approached me. She asked, "Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that for you?" I said, "No thanks, I'm saving it for my kids."
The Pope's Limo The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. The chauffeur felt powerless to refuse His Holiness, so he climbed in the back of the limo and the pope took the wheel. The Pope proceeded onto Interstate 95, and accelerated to see what the limo could do. He got to about 90 mph, and suddenly noted the blue lights of the State Patrol in his mirror. He pulled over and the trooper come to his window. The trooper, seeing who it was, says, "Just a moment please, I need to call in." The trooper called in and asked for the watch commander. He tells him that he's got a REALLY important person pulled over, and asks how to handle it. "It's not Ted Kennedy again, is it?" asked the commander. "No, Sir!" replied the trooper, "This guy's more important." "Is it the Governor?" replied the commander. "No! Even more important!" replied the trooper. "Is it the PRESIDENT???" asked the commander. "No! Even more important!" replied the trooper. Well WHO THE HECK is it?" screamed the commander. "I don't know, sir, " replied the trooper, "but he's got the Pope as his chauffeur." IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money and doesn't appear to realize you've set it free... You either married it or gave birth to it.
|
