Golfer's Jokes
February 6, 2000
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DIFFERENT STROKES Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had only one golf ball. "Don't you have at least one other golf ball?" he asked. The other guy replied that he only needed one. "Are you sure?" the friend persisted. "What happens if you lose that ball?" The other guy replied, "This is a very special golf ball. I won't lose it so I don't need another one." "Well," the friend asked, "what happens if you miss your shot and the ball goes in the lake?" "That's okay," he replied, "this special golf ball floats. I'll be able to retrieve it." "Well what happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs? "The other guy replied, "That's okay too. You see, this special golf ball has a homing beacon. I'll be able to get it back -- no problem." Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap. What are you going to do then?" "No problem," says the other guy, "You see, this ball is florescent. I'll be able to see it in the dark." Finally satisfied that he needs only the one golf ball, the friend asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?" The other guy replies, "I found it."
Alabama Golfers Two Alabama men were starting a round of Golf together. On the first tee, the first guy smacked a beautiful drive down the center of the fairway. With a smile, he picked up the tee and walked to the cart. The second guy cranked another good drive down the center of the fairway, Pleased, he hopped in the cart. When they arrived to the golf balls, they noticed that they were 10 yds. apart. "That's mine up there" said the first guy pointing to the ball closer to the green. "No way, I outdrove you easily" said the second guy. Before you know it, fists were flying. After a brief scuffle, the second guy stopped and said, "I know how we can solve this problem!" "How?" "We will get the clubhouse pro out here!" Sure enough, they drove back to the clubhouse and got him, dragged him out to the fairway. Studying the situation for a few minutes the pro finally said, "I know to solve this!" "How?" "Yeah, How?" Replied the pro, "Who is hittin' the yellow ball?"
Two men are playing golf one day. As they are about to start one of the holes, a funeral procession goes by on the road beside the course. One ofthe golfers, Harry, takes off his cap and stands with his cap to his chest, and waits for the entire procession to go by. He then puts his capback on and proceeds to tee off. "Gee Harry, that was a very nice gesture on your part. It was very thoughtful and respectful of you to do that," his friend says. "Well," Harry replies, "I was married to her for 30 years, it was the least I could do."
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