Jokes Archives - Football Fan

Football Fan
November 25, 1999

It had been an exhausting Thanksgiving day of football, and the pigskin fanatic fell asleep in his chair in front of the television.
Rather than wake him, his wife went to bed, expecting he'd join her later.
Much to her surprise however, when she woke up the next morning, he was still snoozing in front of the TV.
"Honey," she nudged him gently, "wake up. It's twenty to eight."
Startled, the man said, "Whose favor?"

Hey, lady....

A lady was walking down the street to work, and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.
The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, as you can imagine, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot, and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now.
The next day the same parrot again said to her, "WOW lady, you are still really ugly."
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird if the manager didn't take care of this problem. The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store that day after work, the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
She stopped and said, "Yes?"
The bird paused, then said, "You know."

Where do you want to go today?