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The Atlanta school board, learning that Oakland has started labeling black
slang as a language - "ebonics" - has decided there is a need to designate
southern slang as a geographic language. Ergo, hickphonics, to be taught in
all southern schools - a speaker of this would be a hickophone.
Here is a sampling from the hickphonics dictionary:
HEIDI - noun. greeting.
HIRE YEW - complete sentence. remainder of greeting.
Usage: "heidi. hire yew?"
BARD - verb. past tense of "to borrow".
Usage: "my brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. a state just north or florida. capital is lanna.
Usage: "my brother from jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
BAMMER - noun. state just west of jawjuh.
Usage: "a tornader went thru bammer 'n left $20 million inimprovements."
MUNTS - noun. a calendar division.
Usage: "my brother from jawjuh bard my pickup truck and i ain'therd from him
in munts."THANK - verb. ability to cognitively process.
Usage: "ah thank ah'll have a bare."BARE - noun. an alcoholic beverage.
Usage: "ah thank ah'll have a bare."
IGNERT - adjective. not smart. see "arkansas native".
Usage: "some of those bammer boys sure are ignert."
RANCH - noun. a tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "i thank i left me ranch in the back of my pickup truckthat my brother
from jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - noun. a petroleum-based product.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from jawjuh puts all in my pickuptruck."
FAR - noun. a conflagration.
Usage: "if my brother from jawjuh don't change the all in the pickup truck he
bard, that thangs gonna catch far."
TAR - noun. a rubber wheel.
Usage: "I hope my brother from jawjuh don' git a flat tar in mypickup truck."
TARRED - adverb. exhausted.
Usage: "i just flew in from lanna, and boy are my arms tarred."
FARN - adjective. not from here.
Usage: "i cunt unnerstant a wurd he sed...must be from some farn cuntry."
DID - adjective. not alive.
Usage: "he's did, jim bob."
EAR - noun. a colorless gas (except in l.a.)
Usage: "he cain't breathe...give 'im some ear!"
BOB WAR - noun. a sharp twisted cable.
Usage: "stay away from that bob war fence, jim bob."
JEW HERE - noun and verb contraction.
Usage: "jew here that my brother from jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence
company?"
HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "is bubba smart? nah, haze ignert. he ain't thanked aminnit in his life.."
SEED - verb. past tense.
VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "i ain't never seed new york city...view?"
HEAVY DEW - phrase. request for action.
Usage: "kin i heavy dew me a favor? go bah me that linnerd skinnerd tape."
GUMMIT - noun. a bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "them gummit boys sure are ignert." |
