IN OR OUT
September 10, 2000
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A father, a lawyer and an HMO President all died and went to the pearly gates to receive their judgment. "So," Saint Peter said to the father, "what have you done in your life to deserve eternal happiness?" The dad explained that he was devoted to his wife and children, and that he supported them both financially and emotionally. St. Peter said, "well, that's pretty good. Come on in." Saint Peter then asked the lawyer, "what have you done in your life to deserve eternal happiness?" The lawyer explained that, even though she wasn't perfect, she devoted her life to defending the helpless. Saint Peter thought for a bit, then said, "well, nobody's perfect," and let her in. Finally, Saint Peter asked the HMO president, "what have you done in your life to deserve eternal happiness?" "Well," said the HMO president, "I've provided affordable healthcare for all who need it," he said. Saint Peter thought for a bit, then pointed to the down escalator. "But why? Why can't I go to Heaven?" the HMO president asked frantically. Saint Peter sighed and said, "okay, but you can only stay here two to three days."
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