January Blondes
January 4, 2002
|
Blonde Bellringer Passing an office building late one night, a blonde saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman." She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door. "Well," he snarled at the blonde, "what do you want?" "I just wanted to know why you can't ring it for yourself."
How Blonde Was She? She was so blonde, that... She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She thought a quarterback was a refund. She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. She thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools. She thought General Motors was in the army. She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. She thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics." She tried to drown a fish. She tripped over a cordless phone. She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said concentrate She got stabbed in a shoot-out. She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK". They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade. At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put Sagittarius. She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. It takes her two hours to watch "60 Minutes". She studied for a blood test-and failed. She thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train." She sold the car for gas money! When she saw the "NC-17 under 17 not admitted", she went home and got 16 friends. When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company. When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead. When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home. She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
|
