Marriage 101
April 18, 2001
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School Play Robert's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted that day, the dad asked Robert if he got one. Robert enthusiastically announced that he had. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years." "That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part."
Still Love Me? Milton came into his wife's room one day. "If I were, say, disfigured, would you still love me," he asked her. "Darling, I'll always love you," she said calmly, filing her nails. "How about if I became impotent, couldn't make love to you any more?" he asked anxiously. "Don't worry, darling, I'll always love you," she told him, buffing her nails. "Well, how about if I lost my job as vice president?" Milton went on, if I weren't pulling in six figures any more. Would you still love me then?" The woman looked over at her husband's worried face. "Milton, I'll always love you," she reassured him, "but most of all, I'll really miss you."
Misdiagnosis A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. "Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover." "Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."
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