Medical Medley
February 12, 2001
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Before I go... An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his doctor
and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home.
When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As
they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and
motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The
preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and
stared at the ceiling. For a time no one said anything. Both the doctor and lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moment. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness, and their avaricious behavior that made them squirm in their seats. Finally, the doctor said, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?" The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves ... and that’s how I want to go."
What's Up, Doc? The patient lifts his hand above his head and says,
"Doctor, I have a terrible pain in my right foot."
About Par The reception area of the doctor's office was filled to capacity, but the doctor was working at his usual snail's pace. After waiting two hours, an old man slowly stood up and headed for the door. When everyone stopped talking to look at him, he announced, "I guess I'll just go home and die a natural death."
Quick Fix The doctor handed her overweight patient a bottle of pills. "Don't take these pills," she said. "Spill them on the floor three times a day and pick them up one by one." |
