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Allergic Reaction
Because of an ear infection, my young son, Casey, had to go to the
pediatrician.
I was impressed with the way the doctor directed his comments and questions
to my son.
When he asked Casey, "Is there anything you are allergic to?" Casey nodded
and whispered in his ear.
Smiling, the pediatrician wrote out a prescription and handed it to me.
Without looking at it, I tucked it into my purse.
Later, the pharmacist filled the order, remarking on the unusual food-drug
interaction my son must have.
When he saw my puzzled expression, he showed me the label on the bottle.
As per the doctor's instructions, it read:
"Do not take with broccoli."
Southern Medical Terms
Benign......................... What you be, after you be eight.
Artery......................... The study of paintings.
Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria.
Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section............... A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan........................ Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her.
Colic.......................... A sheep dog.
Coma........................... A punctuation mark.
D&C............................ Where Washington is.
Dilate......................... To live long.
Enema.......................... Not a friend.
Fester......................... Quicker than someone else.
Fibula......................... A small lie.
Genital........................ Non-Jewish person.
G.I. Series.................... World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail....................... What you hang your coat on.
Impotent....................... Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain..................... Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane.
Morbid......................... A higher offer.
Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates.
Node........................... I knew it.
Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear...................... A fatherhood test.
Pelvis......................... Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative................. A letter carrier.
Recovery Room.................. Place to do upholstery.
Rectum......................... Just about killed him.
Secretion...................... Hiding something.
Seizure........................ Roman emperor.
Tablet......................... A small table.
Terminal Illness............... Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor.......................... One plus one more.
Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out.
Varicose....................... Near
Pregnancy Exercise
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class
was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe
properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances
at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is
especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the
time to go walking with your partner!"
The room really got quiet.
Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
"Yes?" replied the teacher.
"Is it alright if she carries my golf bag while we walk?"
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