Mid-Week Fun 4
January 9, 2002
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A Word From The Whys Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery!"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is a boxing ring square? Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips after you use it? Why is it necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why is what doctors do called "practice"? Why is it rain drops, but snow falls? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why are there no "B" size batteries? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary? Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand? Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food? Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
You know that little indestructible black box
that is used on planes?
Things to Ponder 1. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time
to look for
it. 3. If nothing sticks to Teflon, what makes Teflon stick? 4. Birds of a feather flock together and always poop on Your car. 5. A penny saved is a government oversight. 6. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. 7. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. 8. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. 9. He who hesitates is probably right. 10. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody. 11. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. 12. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
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