Ministry Fun
March 1, 2001
|
"Man of the Cloth" A man lost two buttons from his shirt and put them in his pants pocket. But the pocket had a hole, so the buttons fell into his shoe. Unfortunately, the shoe sole also had a hole, so he lost the buttons. Since pockets with holes, holes without buttons, and shoe soles with holes are useless, the man ripped the buttonholes out of his shirt and the pocket from his pants and tossed them in the trash along with the soles of his shoes. After looking in a mirror at the holes in his clothing, he decided to toss his clothes in the trash as well. A policeman observed all this and asked the man for identifica- tion. The man produced a document that he was an ordained minister of the gospel. So, of course, the policeman promptly escorted him to a mental institution. The minister protested violently, asking why he was receiving such unjust treatment. "Look, it's the best place for you now," the policeman replied, "Anyone claiming to be a preacher, but who doesn't save souls or wear holy clothes has probably lost his buttons."
FINDING THE LORD A man who was lost stumbled across a Baptism service on a Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeded to stumble down into the water and stand next to the Minister. The Minister turned, noticed the man and said,"Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?" The man looked back and said, "Yes sir, I am." The Minister then dunked the fellow under the water and pulled him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" the Minister asked. "No, I didn't!" said the man. The Minister then dunked him under for a quite a bit longer, brought him up and said,"Now brother, have you found Jesus?" "No, I did not!" said the man again. Disgusted, the Minister held the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brought him up and demanded, "For the grace of God, have you found Jesus yet?!!!??" The man wiped his eyes and pleaded, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
|
