Monday Fun 2
October 2, 2000
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A Visit to the Psychic A woman went to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering and she begins moaning. Eventually, a voice comes, saying, "Granddaughter? Are you there?" The granddaughter, wide-eyed responds, "Grandma? Is that you?" "Yes granddaughter, it's me." "It's really you, Grandma?" the woman repeats. "Yes, it's really me, granddaughter." The woman pauses a moment, "Grandma, I have just one question for you." "Anything, my child." "When did you learn to speak English?"
ODD SIGNS FROM ENGLAND IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken. IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board. OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain. QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council. NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of. IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness. SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges. MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons. ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell isn't working)
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