Monday Funnies
April 24, 2000
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TAKEN FOR A RIDE John was driving home late one night when he picked up a hitchhiker. As they rode along he began to be suspicious of his passenger. John checked to see if his wallet was safe in the pocket of his coat that was on the seat between them, but it wasn't there! So he slammed on the brakes, ordered the hitchhiker out, and said, "Hand over the wallet immediately!" The frightened hitchhiker handed over a billfold, and John drove off. When he arrived home, he started to tell his wife about the experience, but she interrupted him, saying, "Before I forget, John, do you know that you left your wallet at home this morning?"
PONYING UP THE DOUGH Two horses were sitting at a bar. One horse said to the other, "I am such a wonderful horse. I made $100,000 for my owner racing last year." The second horse replied, "That's nothing! I made $1 million for my owner last year." At that moment, a dog came by and overheard the conversation to which he added, "You both are pathetic. I made $10 million racing for my owner last year." After the dog left, one horse said to the other, "Fancy that! A talking dog!" VANITY INSANITY The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, child?" "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am." The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake."
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