Monday Funnies 2
May 21, 2001
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Games for Older Folks
1. Sag, You're it
"OLD" is when... "OLD" is when...Your friend compliments you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. "OLD" is when... A good looking gal catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door. "OLD" is when... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. "OLD" is when... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!" "OLD" is when... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. "OLD" is when... "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today. "OLD" is when... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot. "OLD" is when... An "all nighter" means not getting up to go to the bathroom!
Ok, What’s in the box? As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband’s ranch near Snowflake. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband never to touch it. For fifty years, Uncle Jack left the box alone, until Aunt Edna was old and dying. One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important. Opening it, he found two blankets and $82,500 in cash. He took the box to her and asked about the contents. "My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained. "She told me to make a blanket to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you." Uncle Jack was very touched that in 50 years she’d only been mad at him twice. "What’s the $82,500 for?" he asked. "Oh, that’s the money I made selling the blankets."
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