Monday Mornin'Fun
October 15, 2001
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Unemployment Benefits Sven and Ole worked together and both were laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office. Asked his occupation, Ole said, "Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto cotton panties." The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay. Sven was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week. When Ole found out he was furious. He stormed back in to the office to find out why his friend and coworker was collecting double his pay. The clerk explained: Panty stitchers were unskilled and diesel fitters were skilled labor. "What skill?" yelled Ole. "I sew the elastic on the panties, Sven pulls and tugs on them and says, ’Yah, diesel fitter.’ "
Psychiatrist’s Best Friend A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to explain his problem. "Doctor, doctor! I’ve got this problem," the man said. "I keep hallucinating that I’m a dog. It’s crazy. I don’t know what to do!" "A common canine complex," said the doctor soothingly. "Relax. Come here and lie down on the couch." "Oh no, Doctor," the man said nervously, "I’m not allowed up on the furniture."
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