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More Y2k
January 27, 2000

Top Ten Y2K Survivalists To Do List 10. Apologize to neighbors about the tripwire incident...offer to replace dog. 9. Take up pork & beans skeet shooting. 8. Gather recipes for Spam, dehydrated potatoes, and crow. 7. Cancel subscription to Stockpilers Quarterly, but keep the free can opener. 6. Convert weapons back to semi-auto. 5. Pitch "1000 Ideas for Wheat Gluten" to Martha Stewart's people. 4. Return 753 videos to Blockbuster. 3. Water yard...one lousy gallon at a time. 2. Find grocery store receipt for 10,000 packets of Ramen noodles. 1. Make friends with the 6 billion other Y2K survivors. MY Y2K SPECIAL CLASSIFIED ADD TWO 12 GUAGE SHOTGUNS (5000 rounds included) ONE 9 MILLIMETER (10,000 rounds included) ONE BOW AND ARROW ONE HONDA GENERATOR ONE SOLAR PANEL 6 by 3 ONE WIND MILL KIT do it yourself 35 ft. ONE GOLF CART (clubs not included) TEN GASOLINE TANKS 55 GALLONS EACH (anti-corrosion) THREE WATER TANKS 55 GALLONS (anti-corrosion) TWO SURVIVAL KIT SEA RATION PACKS (can opener not included) TW0 DIE HARD SEARS BATTERIES (in package) THREE COLEMAN GAS LANTERNS (with refills) ONE TRANSISTOR RADIO (Sony 3 band) BATTERY SHAVER ONE TRAVEL IRON 100 POUNDS OF FREEZE-DRIED FRUIT 30 POUNDS OF BISCUITS 25 POUNDS OF RICE 25 POUNDS OF MACARONI 15 POUNDS OF BIO FLOUR 15 POUND OF SWEET AND LOW 20 DRIED COD FISH (with head) 15 CASES OF BAKED BEANS 2 NANY GOATS 6 LAYING HENS AND A PARTRICH IN A PAIR TREE MAKE OFFER [Yes, it is only a joke]