THINGS THE MOVIES TAUGHT US, PART II
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26. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt
upright and pant. 27. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 28. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one. 29. Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated. 30. If a phone line is broken, communication can be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying, "Hello? Hello?" 31. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident. 32. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor. 33. During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back. 34. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. 35. Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them. 36. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. 37. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. 38. Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste. 39. No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged. 40. If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity. 41. You can always find a chainsaw whenever you're likely to need one. 42. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. 43. Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday. 44. Many musical instruments - especially wind instruments and accordions can be played without moving the fingers. 45. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 46. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. 47. Guns are like disposable razors - if you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. You can always buy a new one. 48. Make-up can safely be worn to bed without smudging. 49. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 50. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
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