Jokes Archives - New Years Resolutions

New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies
December 28, 2000

1. I will try to figure out why I "really" need 12 e-mail addresses.
2. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). A phone call every now and then would be appreciated
3. I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
4. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
5. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
6. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week...okay, monthly then...or maybe... at least once a year
7. I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
8. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical since my friends overseas already had time to answer me by then
9. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" outloud.
10. I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. 11. I will think of a password other than "password."
12. I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.
13. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Web.
14. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
15. I will get dressed before noon.
16. I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.
17. I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived.
18. I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web.
19. I will read a book...if I still remember how.
20. I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web.
21. I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
22. I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.
23. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
24. Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime ... and the Web will always be there tomorrow!

Where do you want to go today?