N0-Excuse Sunday
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In order to make it possible for everyone to attend Church next week
we are planning a special N0-Excuse Sunday. 1. Cots will be placed in the Foyer for those who say "Sunday is my only day for sleeping in." 2. Eye drops will be available for those whose eyes are tired from watching TV too late on Saturday night. 3. We will have steel helmets for those who believe the roof will cave in if they show up for church services. 4. Blankets will be furnished for those who complain that the Church is too cold. Fans will be on hand for those who say Church is too hot. 5. We will have hearing aids for the parishioners who say "The pastor doesn't talk loud enough." There will be cotton for those who say, "The pastor talks too loud." 6. Score cards will be available to those who wish to count hypocrites. 7. We guarantee that some relatives will be present for those who like to go visiting on Sunday. 8. There will be TV dinners available for those who claim they can't go to Church and cook dinner too. 9. One section of the Church will have some trees and grass for those who see God in nature, especially on the golf course. 10. The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies to create a familiar environment for those who have never seen the Church without them. See you in Church!
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