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Quack, quack!!...
October 11, 2000

There were these three guys that died and went to heaven and there St. Peter met them.... He said, "Welcome to Heaven, Gentlemen. I am sure you will be quite comfortable here, but I must warn you that we do have our rules in Heaven. If you break them, you will be punished "One rule is, never step on a duck. If you step on a duck, the duck quacks, then they all quack, and it just goes on and on." That sounded simple enough. They passed through the Pearly Gates and were surprised to find there were ducks everywhere! In no time at all, Jake stepped on one. The duck quacked, then they all quacked and made a terrible noise, and it just went on and on. Pretty soon along came St. Peter with a terribly homely woman in tow. "I warned you that if you broke the duck rule you would be punished." He chained the homely woman to Jake and said, "You will be together forever", and walked away. Sometime later, despite his best efforts, Johnny accidentally stepped on a duck. The duck quacked, they all quacked and made a terrible commotion that just went on and on. Sure enough, along came St. Peter with an even homelier woman in tow. "I warned you that if you broke the duck rule you would be punished". With that, he chained the homely woman to Johnny and said, "You will be together for all eternity" and walked away. Well, Billy Bob was very careful not to step on any ducks. One day St. Peter came to Billy Bob with a drop dead gorgeous woman and chained them together and said, "You will be together now and forever more", and walked away. Billy Bob was amazed at his good fortune and said, "I wonder what I did to deserve this?" "I don't know about you", said the beautiful woman, "but, I stepped on a duck!