You might be a Redneck if... (part2)
November 6, 2000
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1. You might be a redneck if your bathroom deodorizer is a
box of kitchen matches. 2. You might be a Redneck if going to the bathroom at night consists of a flashlight and a jacket. 3. You might be a Redneck if you go to the junk yard and come back with more than you left with. 4. You might be a Redneck if you mow the lawn and find a car. 5. You might be a Redneck if your wife's hair-do gets caught in ceiling fans. 67. You might be a Redneck if some one asks for your I.D. and you show them your belt buckle. 7. You might be a Redneck if when you see a sign that says "Say NO to crack" it reminds you to pull up your pants. 10. You might be a Redneck if your aunt and your sister get in a fight and you can't lose if you bet on your cousin. 11. You might be a Redneck if you have a gun rack in the back window of your car. 12. You might be a Redneck if you walk your son to fifth grade every day because you two are in the same class. 13. You might be a Redneck if the government begs your entire family to leave the country to lower the illiteracy rate by 12%. 14. You might be a redneck if you stare at a box of Orange Juice 'cause it says "Concentrate". 15. You might be a redneck if you have to wipe off your feet before going out side. 16. You might Be a Redneck if you ask for a bottle-opener for Christmas. 17. You might be a redneck if your computer displays a box that says "to continue press any key" and you ask "Where's the 'any key?'. 18. You might be a redneck if your greatest source of income is aluminum cans at the side of the road. 19. You might be a redneck if hitting an animal while driving means a new coat for a family member. 20. You might be a redneck if your family tree doesn't branch off. 21. You might be a redneck if you think "megabytes" means a good day fishing. 22. You might be a redneck if you've ever picked up a women in a convenience store. 23. You might be a redneck if you're familiar with Copenhagen but have never heard of Denmark. 24. You might be a redneck if you think "trash TV" is something in your backyard. 25. You might be a redneck if you think "Ross Perot" is how your cousin Ross got out of jail early. 26. You might be a redneck if you don't have a home phone. 27. You might be a redneck if you think stock tip is advice on wormin' your hogs. 28. You might be a redneck if your favorite restaurant has a gas pump in front of it. 29. You might be a redneck if stealing road signs is a family outing. 30. You might be a redneck if you think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night. 31. You might be a redneck if you've ever changed the numbers on your house so the police can't find you. 32. You might be a redneck if you have an above ground pool and you fish in it. 33. You might be a Redneck if you buy a new house and have to hire somebody to take the wheels off for you.
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