Redneck Computer Lingo
January 21, 2001
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"Hard drive" -- Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and
pulling a trailer load of fertilizer. "Keyboard" ---- Place to hang your truck keys. "Window" ------ Place in the truck to hang your guns. "Floppy" ------ When you run out of Polygrip. "Modem" ------- How you got rid of your dandelions. "ROM" --------- Delicious when you mix it with coca cola. "Reboot" ------ What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff. "Network" ----- Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line. "Mouse" ------- Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case. "LAN" -------- To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck." "Cursor" ------ What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend. "bit" --------- A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways." "digital control" -- What yore fingers do on the TV remote. "packet" ------ What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip. Signs you may be a "High-Tech" Redneck *If your computer has a sticker on it that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson" *If you've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone *If your wife said either the computer goes or she goes and you still don't miss her. *If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined *If you refer to your computer as "Old Bessie" *If your e-mails all start with "Howdy y'all" *If you've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your beer on. *If your e-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com" *If the bumper sticker on your truck says "my other computer is a laptop". |
