Saturday Fun 4
June 3, 2000
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A blonde friend of mine was standing in front of a soda machine
saying, "You are a dumb looking button. You don't have much of a future, either. People are going to be punching you all your life. Then you are going to be replaced by a much better looking button." I foolishly asked what he was doing. He pointed to the notice on the front of the machine, which said, "Depress button for ice."
Finding a bottle on the beach, Jake uncorks it and releases a genie. "Ah, now you get three wishes," says the genie. "Great!" Jake replies. "First, I want one billion dollars." Poof! There's a flash, and a paper with Swiss bank account numbers appears in Jake's hand. "Next, I want a Ferrari." Poof! Another flash, and a shiny red Ferrari is parked next to him. "Finally," Jake says, "I want to be irresistible to women." Poof! There's another blinding flash, and Jake turns into a box of chocolates.
A car was pulled over by a highway patrolman for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, he noticed several machetes in the car. "What are those for?" he asked suspiciously. "I'm a juggler," the man replied. "I use those in my act." "Well, show me," the officer demanded. The juggler took out the machetes and started juggling them; first three, then more until he was tossing seven at one time, overhand, underhand, behind the back, putting on a dazzling show in the breakdown lane and amazing the officer. Just then, another car passed by. The driver did a double take, and said, "My God. I've got to give up drinking! Look at the test they're giving now."
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