Saturday Funnies 5
August 5, 2000
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Pole Contest A phone company put an ad in the paper in order to recruit workers. The next day, two groups of workers showed up - a crew of five skilled workers and a crew of five blondes. The company could not decide whom to give the job to, so they gave the two groups a test. The company boss said, "Each crew will receive a telephone pole that must be installed into the ground. Whoever is able to do it first will get the job." Both groups agreed that this was a fair test, so off they went in company trucks with telephone poles sticking out the back. A few hours passed, and finally, at 5:00, the skilled crew returned. "Yes!" they shouted. "We came back first, so we get the job!!" "Good work, men." said the boss, "However, we must wait until the other crew comes back to make sure that the reason they're delayed is not because of traffic or the truck breaking down." "Fine, no problem," replied the crew. An hour passed. Two hours passed and then three hours. Finally, at 8:30, the blonde crew arrived. They were flushed and breathing hard, as if they had just gone through harsh labor. "What happened to you? What took so long?" asked the boss incredulously. "What do you mean, 'what took so long'?? Do we get the job?" "YOU get the job? No way! The other crew were back here HOURS ago!" "Well, of course they were," said the blondes. "They only put the pole in a quarter of the way!!"
Religious One Liners Photons have mass!? I didn't even know they were Catholic... A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible. The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies, probably because they are generally the same people. Heck is a place for people who don't believe in Gosh.
Chocolate Anyone? A man walks into an ice cream parlour and says "Can I have a pint of chocolate ice cream, please?" The clerk looks up and says "Sorry sir, but we don't have any chocolate left." After careful pondering the man says, "OK, I'll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream, then" The clerk grows frustrated and replies "No, I'm sorry, there IS NO CHOCOLATE." The man apologizes and stares at the menu for a while, and then says "Fine, give me just one scoop of chocolate ice cream please." The clerk takes a breath and says "Sir, could you please spell VAN, as in Vanilla?" The man is intrigued, and so spells out "V-A-N." The clerk nods. "Now spell STRAW, as in strawberry, please?" "S-T-R-A-W", replies the man. "And finally, spell STINK, as in chocolate?" The man starts to say "S-T... wait a minute, there's no 'stink' in chocolate!" "NOW we understand each other!" the clerk exclaims.
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