Saturday Funnies 6
September 9, 2000
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Teacher's Warning Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that." The student looked up at her and surveyed her face and replied, "Well you can't say you weren't warned."
The Checkup A man hadn't been feeling well at all, so he went to his doctor for a complete check-up. Afterward the doctor came out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor said. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" said the man. "How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" "Nine..."
Diet? A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner. The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with her lack of willpower, and how she knew her husband would be disappointed. Everyone commiserated, until someone asked what her husband said when he found out. She smiled. "He never found out. I made another cake and ate half!"
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