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~~YOU MIGHT BE A SOUTHERN BAPTIST~~

1. If you believe you are supposed to take a covered dish to heaven.

2. If you have never sung the third verse of any hymn.

3. If you have never put IOU in the collection plate.

4. If you think that someone who says amen while the pastor is preaching is charismatic.

5. If you complain because your pastor only works one day a week and then he works too long.

6. If you clapped in church last Sunday and felt guilty all week.

7. If you woke up craving fried chicken one morning and interpreted it as a call to preach.

8. If you are old enough to get Senior Citizen discounts at the pharmacy, but not old enough to be promoted into the Senior Adult Department.

9. If you think the epistles are probably the apostle wives.

10. If you think the Holy Land is Nashville.

11. If you think God presence is always strongest in the back three pews.

12. If you think John the Baptist founded the Southern Baptist Convention.

13. If you think Victory in Jesus is the national anthem.

14. If the first complete sentence you uttered was "We've never done it this way before".

15. If you judge the quality of the sermon by the amount of sweat worked up by the preacher.

16. If your definition of fellowship has something to do with food.

17. If you ever wonder when Lottie Moon and Annie Armstrong will be paid off.

18. If you honestly believe the Apostles Paul spoke King James English.

19. If you think worship service music has to be loud.

20. If you think Jesus actually used Welchs grape juice and unsalted crackers.

21. If you think preachers who wear robes are in cahoots with the communists.

22. If you judge the quality of a service by the length of the service.