SERVICE, PLEASE
December 1, 1999
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A businessman boards an airplane to find that his
neighbor in first class is a parrot. They take off
and the stewardess asks what they would like to
drink. "Glenlivet on the rocks with a twist," says the parrot. The businessman orders a Coke. After waiting two or three minutes, the bird starts yelling, "Where's my drink? Stop fooling around and give me my drink!" The stewardess runs to him with his glass, leaving the businessman still thirsty. Half an hour later the stewardess makes a second round. The bird orders another Glenlivet and a Wall Street Journal. The businessman asks politely for the Coke he never got. Again, after waiting a couple of minutes, the bird screams, squawking, "Are you lazy or stupid? I want my drink, and don't forget my paper!" The poor stewardess nearly trips over herself getting the parrot his drink and the newspaper. The businessman still has nothing, and after ten more minutes decides to take his cue from the bird. "Hey! Bring me my Coke right now!" he shouts. Out of nowhere the stewardess, the captain and two passengers grab the businessman and the bird, open the hatch and throw them out of the plane. At 30,000 feet in the air the two fall side by side and the parrot says to the terrified man, "Wow, that took a lot of guts for a guy with no wings."
Overheated The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar for a beer. A few minutes later, a cowboy walked in and said "Who owns the white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched up his gun belt and said "I do, why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you'd like to know that your horse is about dead outside." The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse to water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Range turned to Tonto and said, "I want you to run around Silver for a little while and see if you can create enough of a breeze to give him a little relief!" Tonto said, "Sure thing Kemosabe"and took off running circles around Silver. With nothing to do but wait,the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his beer. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks,"Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stands upand claims, "I do. What's wrong with him now?" The cowboy looks him in the eye and says........... "Nothing, but you left your Injun running."
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