Friday Short Takes
March 24, 2000
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Blind Browsing A blind man with his seeing eye dog walked into an ice cream parlour. The blind man picked up the dog and swung it around and around over his head. The manager ran up and asked, "Man, What the heck are you doing?" The blind man replied, "Just looking around."
The New Cut In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous-haired model. I showed the stylist the trendy new cut I wanted and settled into the chair as he began humming a catchy tune and got to work on my thin, graying hair. I was delighted by his cheerful attitude until I recognized the melody. It was the theme from "Mission: Impossible." SIGNS YOU ARE BROKE 1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!" 2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant. 3. You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank. 4. Long distance companies don't call you to switch. 5. You look at your roommate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes. 6. Your rob Peter...and then rob Paul. 7. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change. 8. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment. 9. Your bologna has no first name. 10. You give blood everyday...just for the orange juice. 11. Sally Struthers sends you food. 12. McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.
Breaking 100 Near the end of a particularly trying round of golf, during which the golfer had hit numerous fat shots, he said in frustration to his caddy, "I'd move heaven and earth to break a hundred on this course." "Try heaven," said the caddy. "You've already moved most of the earth." Safe Criticism
Before you criticise someone,
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