Stupid Stuff 2
January 11, 2000
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I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center. Today, a
woman called in very upset because she caught her
little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and that there would be
no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the ER right away. Seems that a while ago, some Boeing employees in the field decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the Stilliguamish River, they were quite surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter homing in on the emergency locator that is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. A police officer had a perfect hiding place for catching speeders. But one day, when everyone was under the speed limit, the officer found the problem: A 10-year-old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand-painted sign that said "RADAR TRAP AHEAD." A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy's accomplice, another chap, about 100 yards beyond the radar trap, holding a sign that read "TIPS." There was a bucket of change at his feet. I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. I inquired as to what she was doing. She said she was shopping on the Internet, and they asked for a credit card number so she was using the ATM "thingy." I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back into itself and for the life of him could not understand why his computer would not turn on.
1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax
machine?"
Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?" My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, "Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"
Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copy machine paper," she told him. With that, the intern took this last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies. I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the cruise control, then went in back to make a sandwich. I rented a movie from Blockbuster Video. Before the movie began, a message came on the screen saying, "This movie has been altered to fit your television screen." Comment from person: "How do they know what size screen I have?"
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