Sunday Fun 4
October 29, 2000
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You're Late! For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor. Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself." And the boss said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?"
What Women Want Tom was walking along the beach one day, and he spotted a bottle lying in the sand. He opened the bottle, and, to Tom's surprise, a genie popped out, and said, "I have been a prisoner in that bottle for hundreds of years. Your reward for releasing me is this: I'll grant you three wishes." Tom thinks for a minute and says, "I'll take one billion dollars!" Poof! with a blinding flash of light, one billion dollars appear. Tom then says, "I want a red Ferrari." Poof! with another flash of light, a Ferrari appears. "For my third and final wish," says Tom, "I want to be irresistible to all women." Poof! with yet another flash of light, Tom is turned into a box of chocolates.
Good Question At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period. "Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figger out." "What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt. "Well accordin' to the Bible, the children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?" "Right." "An' the children of Israel beat up the Phillistines, right?" "Er--right." "An' the children of Israel built the Temple, right?" "Again you're right." "An' the children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?" "All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?" "What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz all the grown-ups doin? |
