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Sunday Potpourri
March 3, 2002

Engaged Beauty Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her boyfriend know it, too. "A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry," she told him. "Really?" asked the boyfriend, "And just how many men are you intending to marry?" Snakebite Two snakes were slithering along together in the grass. "Can I ask you a question?" the first snake says. "You and your dumb questions! What is it this time?" replied the second. "Do you know whether or not we are venomous?" asked the first snake. "What difference should that make to us?!" said the second. "It makes all the difference in the world to me", said the first snake. "I just bit my lip!" If... If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills, If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time, If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong, If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, If you can face the world without lies and deceit, If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can relax without liquor, If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, If you can do all these things, Then You Are Probably The Family Dog! And Lastly....."Differences" When We Eat Out... And the bill arrives, Mike, Sam, Bill and Jake will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. The girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.