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Texas Winders

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Texas Edition of Windows98 may have accidentally been shipped outside of Texas. If you have one of the Texas Editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Texas Edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads 'WINDERS98' with a background picture of the Alamo superimposed on the Texas flag and it is shipped with a Leann Rimes screen saver. Note: Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse." My Computer is called "This Infernal Contraption." Dialup Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys." Control Panel is known as the "Dashboard" Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive." Floppies are "Them Little Plastic Disc Thangs." Other features: Instead of an Error Message you get a Winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape. Terminology: OK = 'ats awright. Cancel = heck, no. Reset = aw shoot. Yes = shore. No = naaaaw. Find = hunt ferrit. Go to = over yonder. Back = back yonder. Help = hep. Stop = ternit off. Start = crank 'er up. Settings = sittins. Programs = stuff that does stuff. Documents = stuff I done done. Also note: Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the Texas Edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement.