Thanksgiving Funnies
November 20, 2000
|
TOP 10 Reasons College Students are Looking Forward to Thanksgiving Break For Jason and his college buddies! 10. You'll know that your turkey is a Butterball rather than a Grade E yet semi-edible fur ball 9. Your mother will not be serving your mashed potatoes and stuffing with an ice cream scooper 8. Pumpkin pie is a great alternative to green jello 7. After your eighth glass of cider, your emergency dash to the bathroom will not be delayed by having to line the seat with toilet paper 6. Clean underwear, comfortable bed, access to a car, bedroom larger than a 12x14 cell... OK, even if it is for only four days 5. To eat your meals the only trek you'll have to make is from the couch to the kitchen, rather than the dorm to the dining hall...in below freezing weather 4. Instead of listening to "when I first started teaching here..." you can be entertained by "when your mother was your age..." and "during the Depression we weren't lucky enough to have brussels sprouts. Heck, all we could afford was the sprout!" 3. You can eat your corn steamed with butter rather than popped in your microwave 2. You'll know the hair in the shower drain is your own 1. You won't be eating your Thanksgiving meal off a tray!
PRO TURKEY The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"
|
