The Pearly Gates #1
November 24, 2000
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These jokes are rated NTC (not theologically correct)....
St. Peter said to the first, "Tell me what you did on earth." Said she, "I was a birthing room nurse. I helped bring hundreds of precious babies into the world." "Enter!" said St. Peter. Then he turned to the second. "And how about you?" he asked. She replied, "I was a trauma unit nurse. I helped save hundreds of lives of people involved in terrible accidents." "Enter!" cried St. Peter, and turned to the third. "I worked for an HMO," she admitted. "Over the years I saved my company hundreds of thousands of dollars by refusing extended care to people who were trying to bilk the system." "You may enter!" said St. Peter. "You really mean it?" asked the nurse incredulously. "Yes," replied St. Peter. "You've been pre-approved for three days."
Wife After Death Everybody on Earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the second line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter." Said and done. The next time God looked the women were gone and there were two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was hundreds of miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one meek-looking man. God sighed and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your spouses. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?" The man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here"
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