Thursday Funnies 5
January 3, 2002
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We Should've Known According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen- had to be a girl. We should've known. Only women, while pregnant, would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
Too Late To Date After the death of a never-married 94-year-old spinster, the rector was given a note from her personal belongings. In the woman's handwriting were specific instructions for her funeral service. Along with the suggestions for Scripture readings and music were the following orders: "There will be no male pallbearers. Since they wouldn't take me out when I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."
Ditching School The local high school has a policy that the parents must call the school if the student is to be absent for the day. Kelly, deciding to ditch and go to the mall with her friends, waited till her parents had left for work and called the school herself. This is the actual conversation of the telephone call. Kelly: "Hi, I'm calling to report that Kelly is unable to make it to school today because she is ill." Secretary at high school: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note her absence. Who is this calling?" Kelly: "This is my mother."
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