Wednesday Fun
May 9, 2001
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Season Tryouts A football coach was asked how he picked a team from a bunch of raw recruits. "I hate to give away my secrets," he replied, "but I'll tell you. I take them out into the woods. Then, at a given signal, I start them running. Those that run around the trees are chosen as guards. Those that run into the trees are chosen as tackles." Miracle Cosmetics Todd's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asked, "Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully, Todd replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five." "Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. "Hey, wait a minute!" Todd interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet." MIT PHD There's the story about the MIT student who spent an entire summer going to Harvard football field every day wearing a black and while striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football game. When the referee walked onto the field and blew his whistle, the game had to be delayed for half an hour to wait for the birds to get off the field. The guy wrote his thesis on this and graduated.
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